Love vs. Dishonoring Others

[Love is not] rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful.      1 Corinthians 13:5


  1. *Video Clip* Anjelah Johnson as Bon Qui Qui – “Don’t interrupt, Rude”
  2. *Activity* Utilize the chart attached to the end of this cell lesson. Ask cell members to share common rude actions, and then point out the correlation to Christian living.
  3. *Activity* hand out note cards, have each individual write on one side their biggest pet peeve, on the other side have them write how that makes them want to respond, no names, then take them up. Read aloud at the end and discuss if this response is rude or loving, dishonoring others or in consideration of others.
  4. *Object Lesson* When cell members arrive, have a 1 liter of a drink in the middle of the table, give everyone a small cup, give yourself a Nalgene bottle or a RT 44 cup from sonic. Pick up the liter and pour all of it in your cup except for a tiny little bit. Bring a bag of candy, set it on the table but first go through and pick out all the good candy in front of them for yourself.  After it’s obvious that something is wrong, ask the members of your group how this treatment made them feel.


  1. Love takes into consideration how its actions will be felt by others.
  2. Inconsiderate actions show contempt and disrespect for others and promptly destroy relationships.


PATH 1 – Love takes into consideration how its actions will be felt by others

  1. How do you communicate respect and consideration for others verbally and non-verbally?
  • Do these actions promote peace and unity?
  1. Colossians 4:5-6
  • Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.
  1. How do you feel when someone does or says something without considering your feelings, desires, schedule, or perspective?
  2. Have you ever met a person that seems to have the attitude, “I’m gonna do what I’m gonna do – and I don’t care about you!”
    • “But… I’m never rude. I’m considerate all the time”
  1. Are you thinking, I am hardly ever rude – consider the following:
  • If love is never rude, then love always behaves, always pays attention, always avoids being pushy
      • You can be rude by interrupting someone
        • Shows “what I have to say is more important than what you have to say”
      • You can be rude by being pushy
        • Forcing your opinions on others
  1. Do you feel that when someone is rude to you that they are trying to jerk you around emotionally?
  2. What would you say is the opposite of being rude?
    • How can you implement more considerate actions into your life?


PATH 2 – Inconsiderate actions show contempt and disrespect for others and promptly destroy relationships.

  1. What is dishonoring others?
    1. Doing things or saying things that show contempt for others
  • You can be rude by not being on time
    • Shows “What I have to do is more important than all of your schedules put together.”
    • You can be rude by simply not paying attention
      • Pretending to listen
        • Is it really rude to be on your phone during Last Call/ class/church?
        • Guy watching sports and ignoring girl talking about something important
  1. Do you return rudeness for rudeness? Do you pursue others’ joy as a means to your own joy?
  • 1 Peter 3:9: Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing.
  1. What is the opposite of dishonoring others?
  •  How can you implement more respect for others into your life?
  • Rudeness equals a lack of patience.
    •  If patience is a synonym of long-suffering, then being rude (due to lack of patience) is like saying “I’m suffering, why don’t you suffer with me.”
  1. Culturally, we work under the premise that respect must be earned. Based on what the God says about love, is it biblical to only give respect to those who earn respect and dishonor everyone else?
  • Matthew 22:36-39 Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’


  1. What we want is often perfectly obvious (to us), but it’s not always obvious (to us) what other people want.  So we prioritize ourselves.
  2. We get so caught up in trying to be ‘funny’ that we seek laughs at the expense of others.
  3. We simply don’t have enough time to be patient—or at least that’s what we tell ourselves.
  4. We excuse our rudeness by claiming that we’re right.
  5. It’s difficult to consider other people’s problems or wishes to be as important as our own.


  1. What is the one habit you have that shows the most disrespect to others?  What can you do to change it?  (Hint: “Do better” and “Try harder” aren’t good answers.)
  2. What is the thing that makes you the most pushy or rude?  Practically speaking, how can you incorporate more consideration into your actions?  (Hint: “Do better” and “Try harder” aren’t good answers.)

‘Worldly’ Rudeness

‘Christianese’ Rudeness:

Graffiti Tattoos, smoking, etc à polluting the temple of the holy spirit with impurities
Littering Accept junk and mess in our spirits allow people to bring us trash and refuse to take the garbage to the curb and leave it there. We neglect to wash daily in the word of God à BINTO time plug
Cutting someone off in traffic We cut God off from leading us in our lives, we are not patient, therefore we take the wheel when He’s the one we asked to be in the driver seat – BACKSEAT DRIVERS

John 10: 4-5, 27: “When he has brought out all his own, he goes on ahead of them, and his sheep follow him because they know his voice. 5 But they will never follow a stranger; in fact, they will run away from him because they do not recognize a stranger’s voice.” 27 My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me.”

How rude is it when Sheep want to lead the Shepherd?

Cursing Speak evil of others and wishing evil upon them
Gossiping James 3:10 Out of the same mouth comes both blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things should not be so.

1 Peter 3:8-11 Finally, all of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble. 9 Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing. 10 For, “Whoever would love life and see good days must keep their tongue from evil and their lips from deceitful speech. They must turn from evil and do good; they must seek peace and pursue it.

1 Pet 2:17 Show proper respect to everyone, love the family of believers, fear God, honor the emperor.

Eating and not offering to share Is it rude Sunday after Sunday to be fed the Word—with a world thirsty for the living waters and hungry for truth—but not share?

Matthew 25:44-45 “They also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you? “He will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.’

Talking on our cells when we are in the company of others or going out of our way not to speak to each other How much time do you spend on your phone a day?

How much time do you spend in the Word each day?

Ignoring someone trying to get our attention We invite God into our lives then ignore Him when He tries to get our attention
Inviting guests over and making them wait outside before coming to the door Revelation 3:20 – behold I stand at the door and knock…
Complaining about a gift or showing no appreciation and not saying Thank you. Ungratefulness for the cross and all that God’s done in your life = not living a life of true worship is disrespectful and rude